I know many of you are aware of my very PUBLIC break up back in December 2014 with, none other than, Rico Suave himself… *S-U-G-A-R. It was the best decision for all parties involved, as you know, and we did so much better being apart.
Although I still had to see him everywhere, out and about, friends house, dinner parties, weddings , holidays, restaurants, and especially the grocery store. I knew I was way better off without him and did everything I knew to hold my ground.
Then came Sept 14, 2016. It was a choice, I admit it. I actually planned a special meeting. I was weak. It was my birthday. I knew he would be at my favorite restaurant and thought, “what’s the hurt in just a quickie?”
Not only was there way too much pasta and bread for one meal, but also wicked Tiramisu! He had to go home with me, of course! Who would waste all that gorgeousness?!
The next day… I indulged left overs. So a simple one night stand turned into what I lovingly called, “a personal day,” to extend just a bit more sweetness to it all.
From there it pretty much turned into a hit or miss rendezvous of “personal days.”
At first it was fun. He was on his best behavior. He seemed to have changed! Maybe we could do this! I missed him and he definitely missed me.
But then things started to unravel… A little symptom here, a red flag there. I tried to overlook things! I so wanted this to work!
I may have looked great on the outside, but on the inside I knew this was so wrong. I woke up feeling terrible about myself (cue Miranda Lambert’s “Another Vice” in the background please).
The more I made excuses and justified my choices, the worse I felt about myself.
Every morning I’d wake up and say, “Today, I’ll stop.” Then it turned into tomorrow, and the next day, and the next. That wagon just seemed so difficult and HUGE to climb back on…a few chips here, a sandwich there, a bite of pudding here, a bit of noodles there.
Believe me, nothing changed about him after all. He was exactly the same.
So, after three weeks of casual meet ups with him, I finally met with him one last time. McDonald’s. A quarter pounder with cheese, with the bun, and fries, AND a vanilla milkshake (all my first in 2 years!!! Ugh).
By the time I got home I knew I had to do it. In my heart I knew what was right. Not just for me, but for the children .
And then I did it.
Right in the middle of the Donald Trump vs. Hillary Clinton debate.
I told him. “It’s over. We are done. Rip off the band aid, fire up the wagon! I’ve got a big ladder and I’m back on the wagon – full force!”
He seems okay. He has most likely been seeing other people the whole time.
I am taking some time to detox, mind map, and reprogram. I ask for all your prayers, light, and love during this time.
It is always so “fun and easy” (conscious language) making new choices that shift your whole life… again. I AM worth it.
Goodbye Sugar. Hello Ketosis. Hello Life.
I AM Love,
*Sugar is scientifically proven to be a more powerful drug than Cocaine. More to come on this subject in following posts.
Helpful Resources for Spiritual Growth and Wellness Support
Dr. Sharnael & Doug Addison – Living your goals MP3
This is an MP3 with Dr. Sharnael featuring Doug Addison discussing “Living your goals”.
Tell-A-Vision by Sharnael Wolverton (CD)
Sharnael Teaches on Vision the supernatural and the importance in a physical and Spiritual way of our atmosphere and what and who we surround ourselves with.